Recovery...ugh!

It has been a few days since I've updated, mainly because I've been battling between the pain of my knee and going into a Lortab coma. Neither has been fun, and I'm still trying to find a happy medium.

While it is nice to be able to feel my leg now, the pain has been pretty intense. If I'm lying down with my knee propped, it isn't so bad. But when I try to move around or especially when I try to lift my leg up onto the bed...ouch!!! I've been told to take my pain pills regularly, to avoid the peaks and dips, but for someone who is used to suffering through a headache rather than taking Tylenol, this is all new to me. I don't like taking pain medication. It makes me feel groggy and sick to my stomach. You'd think it would help me sleep, but it does so only intermittently. I long for a good night's sleep...one during which I don't wake up in a cold sweat feeling woozy and weird. And then there are the digestive issues that come along with pain pills...oy!!

So this is what my knee looked like on day three. The word yes was written by me. I guess it is a last validation that it is the correct knee for the surgery. I can only imagine the horror one would feel upon waking from surgery, only to find out that the surgery was performed on the wrong part. heehee As you can see, my knee is insanely swollen and I actually have six suture points. The sixth one is hidden by the brace on the outside of the knee. This pic was taken with the brace open. The brace is huge and bulky and hideous. It is the armored truck of knee braces. It gets in the way when I pee and pulls down on my leg when I'm hobbling around on crutches. I hate it already.

Those of you who know me well won't find this as much of a surprise...I'm about to lose my mind, lying in bed all day long. I don't want to watch TV; I don't want to read; I don't want to sleep. I want out of this house...NOW!!! I'm hoping for a dinner out this weekend, but it will depend on how I'm feeling. Right now I can't imagine leaving home, as much as I'd like to.

Surgery Update

Well, yesterday was the big day. I went to Seven Hills Surgery Center (which I would highly recommend if one is ever given the option...the staff was prompt, professional, and took very good care of me!). It turns out that my pre-op nurse also goes to my church, has daughters who go to the same dance studio as Athena, and has a daughter in Lukas's orchestra class at school and catechism class at church. I knew I was in good hands!

I was taken back and given the very flattering hospital gown and then covered with warm blankets. As a naturally "cold" person, those things are always appreciated. I watched an interesting documentary on the Fresno Bulldog gang and learned how to throw the correct gang signs if I ever find myself in a dark alley in Fresno. Good to know...So the anesthesiologist came in and told me I was getting a femoral block which would numb my leg completely. What an odd sensation! She sedated me a bit (ahhhhh!!) and then had me roll to my stomach as she prodded the top of my thigh, making my hamstring, then calf, then ankle twitch. It was quite uncomfortable, but not unbearable. Next she had me roll over and she did the front, making my quad twitch and then down to my kneecap. I felt immediately numb.

The next thing I knew, I was rolling into the OR which was FREEZING. I was shivering and shaking and explained to the anesthesiologist that I have a low tolerance for cold. I believe I even apologized for shaking. She said, "It isn't you, honey. This room is set at 54 degrees right now. It IS freezing in here!" Dr. Koe was there. He reassured me that I'd be back in heels in good time (haha!!). He had some Zac Brown Band playing and said he hoped I like country. The last thing I remember is telling him I saw Zac Brown Band in concert last weekend. Then I felt a sharp pain in my left arm (the anesthesia going into my vein) and I was out!

I woke up in the recovery area and had a very chatty nurse. This got me to wake up quickly, but I really just wanted to sleep. I should have...I wasn't picked up until about an hour later.

Almost 24 hours later, my leg is still numb. It is soooo annoying. I think I'd rather feel some pain than feel like a zombie, dragging my dead leg behind me. I thought for sure I would sleep well last night, but I really haven't slept much since my surgery. And to be honest, I'm quite disappointed with the level of care I'm getting at home. Not be a whiner, but it would be nice if I didn't feel like I was putting everyone out by asking them to go downstairs and bring me a few bags of ice. Moms aren't allowed to be down for the count, I guess! Anyway, no pain so far, my leg is wrapped like a mummy for now, and I've had several very successful ebay wins this morning. HAHA!!

Today is the big day!

After a series of little roadblocks, I'm finally having my surgery today, two months after my injury. My first roadblock was when I showed up for my pre-op appointment and was told that I had called and cancelled my surgery. HUH?!? Obviously they were mistaken. I mean, it was probably a case of similar names. My last name is rather common (NOT!). Regardless, I rescheduled for today. Enter second roadblock on Tuesday. My primary doctor (whom I had seen in a pre-op appointment at the beginning of January) calls to inform me that she won't clear me for surgery until I have a chest x-ray. After about five minutes of ranting and raving to no one in particular, I called my ortho doctor who told me he doesn't require one and will do the surgery without. It was hard not to call my primary doctor back and give her the "na-ne-na-ne-boo-boo."

In preparation for my surgery, I had a massage last night. It was much needed but didn't quite take all the stress away. As a friend reminded me this morning, this is the easy part. I have a long road ahead of me during the recovery process, but I've been overwhelmed by the texts, emails, and facebook messages from friends and family who are sending me prayers and well-wishes. I'm so blessed!

Fitness Warrior Diva: Today, I cried...

Fitness Warrior Diva: Today, I cried...: ...over shoes. Yes, you heard me right. Today, I cried over shoes. Ridiculous, right? Ehhh, maybe so. It isn't like a few months ago when th...

Today, I cried...

...over shoes. Yes, you heard me right. Today, I cried over shoes. Ridiculous, right? Ehhh, maybe so. It isn't like a few months ago when the perfect Marciano black-and-white stilettos turned up at Nordstom Rack the day before payday. Do you think they were there the next day when I went back to get them? Of course not! Talk about non-buyer's remorse! No, this was much different.

Over the last few years I've developed a penchant for high heels. Stilettos, wedges, platforms, you name it. I like them in colors, unique prints, a pair for every outfit. Maybe it is because I am only 5'4 and wearing heels makes me feel "normal-sized". Or perhaps it is because I found that I could actually walk in them! There's something about putting on a dress and heels that just...well, it just makes me feel better.

So here I am today, working in my closet, trying to organize a little better to make room for my new shoes. New heels? Ummm, no. Because of my torn ACL and impending doom, I mean surgery, I can't wear heels for at least a year. In order to make room for my new flats, I moved all my heels up to the top of my closet.

Initially I felt relief at cleaning up my cluttered closet, but then I realized that I was packing away something I love. I never realized how much I equated heels with my femininity. I felt as though I was packing away everything that made me a woman. As I sat on the floor of my closet, separating my shoes and crying, I came to a realization. I know what you're probably thinking. I realized that shoes don't make the woman, right? That I can still be sexy and feminine in flats? Heck no! I realized that no matter what, I'm destined to live the next year in flat shoes at 5'4 and there isn't a darn thing I can do about it except buy some new shoes. So here is the start of my new shoe collection...

My First Post! And a run-down of why I'm here...

So here's my story...I've been an athlete all my life. As a kid and teenager, it was soccer, volleyball, basketball, track and I loved every moment of it. As I got older and had my kids, got a job, created a home for my family, I failed to make time to continue athletics. I gained weight with each kid and working out just became one more thing that sat at the bottom of my daily to-do list. I never lost the love for fitness...just the motivation to make it a priority.

18 months ago, at my heaviest weight, I decided that I needed to make myself a priority. I started walking, then running, then hitting the gym hard. After losing 40 pounds through diet and exercise, I decided to go back to something I was most passionate about as a teenager- playing soccer. I joined an indoor soccer league and felt that I had finally re-discovered the fun and excitement that I had a child. I was immediately planning future seasons, both indoor and outdoor. Then one day, as I was shooting a goal from a strange angle, I heard a loud pop and went immediately to the ground in intense pain. I was carried off the field and knew instantly that it was something serious. I spent the next week, unable to walk, in bed and found out through an MRI that I had torn my anterior crucial ligament (ACL) and my meniscus. Surgery was imminent.

So why blog about it? A few reasons. The top reason is accountability. The second reason is to keep my family and friends updated. The third reason is because I need a place to share my frustrations! I'd love to get your feedback, so please share :-)